He doesn't understand why she doesn't understand, why she can't see what he's trying to tell her: that they can't be family because he's never had a family, and he's fairly sure most people don't just Start Having One, and he can't help her because the man her mother met couldn't have been him and so it wasn't.
He doesn't understand why it bothers him so much, why his chest feels so tight or why he feels so strongly like he has to salvage this, whatever this is.
He doesn't want to talk about it. He can't talk about it. He can't stop typing.]
I'm telling you what I know, how does *that* make me a coward? I mean I AM a coward, but not because of this! Do you know how many people know I don't remember jack shit? Not that fucking many! One of them isn't even here anymore! Not that it matters because it's okay! I'm okay with it but that's not the point! I'm not calling your mom a liar either! FUCK!
hee hoo hee
[He doesn't understand.
He doesn't understand why she doesn't understand, why she can't see what he's trying to tell her: that they can't be family because he's never had a family, and he's fairly sure most people don't just Start Having One, and he can't help her because the man her mother met couldn't have been him and so it wasn't.
He doesn't understand why it bothers him so much, why his chest feels so tight or why he feels so strongly like he has to salvage this, whatever this is.
He doesn't want to talk about it. He can't talk about it. He can't stop typing.]
I'm telling you what I know, how does *that* make me a coward?
I mean I AM a coward, but not because of this!
Do you know how many people know I don't remember jack shit? Not that fucking many! One of them isn't even here anymore!
Not that it matters because it's okay! I'm okay with it but that's not the point!
I'm not calling your mom a liar either!
FUCK!