[A quiet interjection in the middle of the Boss's silence. Doppio hopes it's comforting. "If he asked him to": that right there is what his statement hinged on. He does understand, at this point, why the Boss would fear otherwise so intensely - so many reasons for it, so many things he's been through, and Doppio may never know what some of them felt like but he doesn't need to. All he wants is for the Boss to never feel alone again.
That thought draws another confession out of him. He freezes with apprehension as his lips move -]
... I'm glad we want the same thing. It makes me feel less selfish.
[- but relaxes, if only slightly, because he could have said so much worse.
The Boss brings himself even closer somehow. It seems impossible, and all at once he remembers he knows they used to be so much closer and he wishes, somehow, that he could give himself over to the Boss's lips and he fears that he can't stop himself from saying it - but the Boss's words redirect that train of thought. There is something else that he must voice now.]
I didn't.
[It doesn't feel great to remember. It doesn't feel great to admit it - that he wanted to just give up - even though--]
I-I thought I already told you. [Didn't he? Maybe he dreamed it; maybe he only imagined it, and stored it somewhere far away.] I... didn't wanna be here. I didn't think there was any point.
no subject
[A quiet interjection in the middle of the Boss's silence. Doppio hopes it's comforting. "If he asked him to": that right there is what his statement hinged on. He does understand, at this point, why the Boss would fear otherwise so intensely - so many reasons for it, so many things he's been through, and Doppio may never know what some of them felt like but he doesn't need to. All he wants is for the Boss to never feel alone again.
That thought draws another confession out of him. He freezes with apprehension as his lips move -]
... I'm glad we want the same thing. It makes me feel less selfish.
[- but relaxes, if only slightly, because he could have said so much worse.
The Boss brings himself even closer somehow. It seems impossible, and all at once he remembers he knows they used to be so much closer and he wishes, somehow, that he could give himself over to the Boss's lips and he fears that he can't stop himself from saying it - but the Boss's words redirect that train of thought. There is something else that he must voice now.]
I didn't.
[It doesn't feel great to remember. It doesn't feel great to admit it - that he wanted to just give up - even though--]
I-I thought I already told you. [Didn't he? Maybe he dreamed it; maybe he only imagined it, and stored it somewhere far away.] I... didn't wanna be here. I didn't think there was any point.