IC Inbox

[epitaffio]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PURPLEPIPER. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 541.26.365.77 *** PURPLEPIPER has joined 541.26.365.77 <PURPLEPIPER> Am I doing this right? <PURPLEPIPER> Pretty weird to just leave a message like this is an answering machine or something <PURPLEPIPER> ME leaving a message I mean! <PURPLEPIPER> You can leave one if you want and I'll just get back to you whenever I can.

Comments

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

Ho ho ho! Your Secret Santa giftee is OTTO OCTAVIUS, imaginatively called "Octavius" on the network. These call-signs, I swear to God...

Buy or make Otto a gift by December 26, or Santa will come down your chimney and box your ears.

If you need more information, contact me C/O Hawkeye Pierce at Crowe Clinic, and I'll delegate him to tell you to do your own research.

again, no obligation to tag this back!

[epitaffio]

My what? I didn't sign up for anything!

[Eight Octavius, though... Could be fun to shop for.]

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

Pretty sure you did. Check the small print on your employment contract.

[Joking. There's nothing as organised as contracts.]

<purplepiper>

[epitaffio]

Are you kidding me?? I didn't even reply to your post!

[FIVE MINUTES LATER...]

WHY'D YOU SEND *HIM* ONE TOO???
Who the hell signed him up?!

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

That would be breaking patient-Santa confidentiality. :)

[Him. Obviously it was him.]

<purplepiper>

[epitaffio]

Was it Giorno?
WHAT'S HE PLANNING?

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

Jesus H. Christ! No, it wasn't Gigi!

It was me, O.K.? I signed you up because you need to have fun more. Now relax!

<purplepiper>

[epitaffio]

Oh

[... Well, he feels kind of bad now.]

And you signed up the Boss too?
I mean... [IS IT WEIRD TO CALL ANOTHER GUY "BOSS" WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO YOUR BOSS] You know who I mean

[... also wait, "Gigi"????]

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

Yeah. He seems like a loner. Thought he could use something to be part of.

<purplepiper>

[epitaffio]

[...]

You shouldn't have just sprung that on him.
What if you ended up matching him with an enemy?

[Which at this point is essentially every other Italian in Ryslig, he thinks, but ANYWAY.]

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

I did TRY to do my research, you know.

<purplepiper>

[epitaffio]

So who'd you match him with?

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

I'm not telling you. You're not actually his babysitter, you know.

<purplepiper>

[epitaffio]

Hey, I’m just trying to make sure nothing goes wrong!

<KrisKringle>

[getmeoutofthedraft]

You need to learn a little trust, Dop.