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[epitaffio]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PURPLEPIPER. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 541.26.365.77 *** PURPLEPIPER has joined 541.26.365.77 <PURPLEPIPER> Am I doing this right? <PURPLEPIPER> Pretty weird to just leave a message like this is an answering machine or something <PURPLEPIPER> ME leaving a message I mean! <PURPLEPIPER> You can leave one if you want and I'll just get back to you whenever I can.

Comments

[justbeingknife]

I know I'll see him again someday.

[ on what did Majima base this confidence? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]

Besides, if he ever found out about what I did, he'd kick my ass.

[epitaffio]

[Hey, it wasn't unfounded. After all, Doppio assumed, Majima could still go home one day.]

Wait, why?

[justbeingknife]

[ How to explain Saejima, really... ]

You ever heard of uncompromisin' principles?

[epitaffio]

[uhhh]

Is that a yakuza thing?

[justbeingknife]

Nah, I'm pretty sure he'd be the same way even if he hadn't been in the business.

I've been called unreasonable, in polite terms, but I'd say compared to him, I'm definitely the reasonable one.

[epitaffio]

Oh.

[He thought it might have been lingo! Who knows what gets lost in Ryslig's mysterious Translation Magic?]

So what you're saying is...
You've done something he wouldn't approve of no matter what?

[justbeingknife]

I'm sayin' springing for some strange candy instead of meetin' him the right way ain't something he'd approve of.

He's more the "smash your head against a problem the hard way until it resolves itself" kinda guy. No shortcuts... especially not when there might be fallout.

cw: body horror mention

[epitaffio]

Oh...
If you really think he'd mind that then I guess I can understand.

[Now, he hadn't known what would happen when he ate the candy, but if he had... would he have still done it? He knew the Boss wouldn't want him spreading his face around...

... Even if this "Boss's" face wasn't... much of one. Especially now that it was attached to the back of his head.]

[justbeingknife]

Yeah. Spent a lot of time thinking about what I was gonna do the next time I saw him.

[ In this case, perhaps two heads were not better than one, dohohoho ]

[epitaffio]

[There is a far longer pause before the next message.]

But if you didn't know the candy would do that in the first place, then there wouldn't be a problem, right?

[justbeingknife]

I suppose that'd be more agreeable.

Though it'd probably make more sense to pop to the store if I had a sweet tooth.

[epitaffio]

Well yeah but…
If you had candy right THERE, or you just weren’t thinking…

[justbeingknife]

Doppio are you sure you didn't eat that candy

[epitaffio]

[hhhhhhHHHHHHHH]

I didn't say I DIDN'T eat it exactly...

[justbeingknife]

What's that supposed to mean?! Ya licked it and put it back in the box?!

[epitaffio]

Oh my fucking god NO, I ate it!

[justbeingknife]

WHAT'D THEY TEACH YOU IN GRADE SCHOOL, HUH?

DON'T JUST STICK RANDOM SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH

[epitaffio]

I WAS HUNGRY!!

[You try being hungry all the time, Majima!]

[justbeingknife]

[ well, he did love food but ]

SO BUY SOME SNACKS FOR HOME

I can't believe this. you sure you ain't feelin' some ill effects?

[epitaffio]

Look...
I'm not saying they didn't do anything because that'd be an obvious lie and you kind of already got me
But I SWEAR everything's fine

[justbeingknife]

We've got evidence for and against that claim at this point. But it ain't like I live in Bavan any more.

[ So it was a bit more difficult to check in on the local weirdos. ]

We're fine out here. I guess with fewer monsters, there's fewer monster-lovin' weirdos to show up with adulterated food.

[epitaffio]

[... You know...

Maybe he'll just say it.]

I don't know about everybody else who ate the candy
But I wouldn't mind things staying the way they are right now.

[justbeingknife]

What




why?

[ DOPPIO ]

[epitaffio]

Because...

It's nice.

[It's nice. He missed this, and it was largely fine now - even if the Boss said things that didn't sound quite right with increasing frequency... it still felt a lot like home.]

[justbeingknife]

But it ain't real, right?

[ it couldn't be, Ryslig was always tossing out "too good to be trues". ]